This started off as me blowing it off because of a gut wrenching watermark, you know the one, the dA "in the middle fuck you, you're not going to digest this work" one? But the artist pulled it off long enough for me to critique it, so if it is there by the time you get to it, I am sorry, I have no control, I was at least lucky enough to see it raw.
Because the artist repented, and at least removed the watermark long enough for it to be critiqued, I am going to award a bonus ½ star across the board for the artists temporary moment of clarity.
Of course, with a new artist, and new watchers from yesterday, we must always remind that the lower the vision score, the better, with this piece being 2 stars and with the bonus dropping it to 1 ½ stars.
But wait, isn't the vision simply "Fuck Off", and that is the end of it?
Nope. Any monkey can sling poo at the zoo, but why? Is the question...
Why is this girl making known her refusal to accept something? Good god, it could be for a million reasons, and I for one couldn't even begin to say, and therein lay the loss of vision. It does have a foundation, but after initial impact, it is up to the viewer to somehow decode her thoughts. It is this same loss of vision, with a small foundation to work with that will affect the sister score only slightly.
A 3 ½ for Originality plus the bonus ½ star is 4, when we ask ourselves. "Is this original?
I know that dA is littered with quite a few fuck off, fuck you, get fucked, types of images, but the technique is what adds to the originality. The two brother scores work together to create the same rating. So lets look at both together, and see why Technique gets the same 3½ + ½.
The progression of dark to light from the model's left to right, (viewers right to left) is where the artists skill in setting up the shot leads to the originality. The eyes of the model, (whether the artist instructed her to portray them in that manner or not) lead to the originality, the indifference of the lips, the angle of the hand pointing into the light, the model leaning slightly into the dark on the left, covering half of her face, exposing just enough of herself to make the gesture known into the light, where the offense has obviously taken place.
There is really not much I can see that could have improved on this. The background stagnates the potential, she is too frozen in time, to constrained by the lack of background.
Maybe if this picture would have taken place outside, somehow finding a building or alleyway to cast a shadow, putting people, cars, or something moving behind her, something to give life to the image, something to give the model a future, and escape from the current dilemma of forever eyes and lips. She looks imprisoned trapped inside of a small space. There is no progression.
Continuing on with this thought, we can give this image a 3½ + ½ bonus, for a total of 4.
She is pissed, but at the same time she is sexy. She is confident in her confrontation, but as said before, a feeling of hopelessness also surrounds her situation.
The only problem I would have with bringing life into the image as stated earlier, is that it would have raised the sister vision score, so either way, the total would not have changed. Her youth, the slight tilt of her head, the ring on her finger (which would philosophically represent attachment) all lean towards an angered significant other. Her sexy and angrily alluring look would make the male or same-sex attracted female repentant, and willing to compromise.
The photo being black and white is what fuels the majority of the intensity, this being a color image would have been an epic fail, and would have made it appear to be nothing more than some pissed of girl selfie, which would have been nothing new under the sun.
Her coming from the anger of the darkness, and into the light of revelation as to her anger contributed greatly to the score as well. But again, the confined area, leaving her no egress, hurt the potential, which is where an outdoor shot would have given her room, and more freedom of expression.
Overall this is a solid 4 star image, with a lot of skillful thought put into the setup of the image, as well as the right choice of the model to bring the artists set up to fruition...
This critique will appear here:
On Oct. 1st @ 07:00 US Central time.
There are others ahead in the scheduled queue.
Bonus material relating to the model will also appear in this review.
That is an excellent review my friend. I wish you could accept review requests, because I have some writing I would love to get your two cents on. But I'll leave that decision up to you of course. My model/girlfriend also appreciates all the attention.
Oh and the "paranoid teenage narcissist" disclaimer on your page is wickedly brilliant.
I have stumbled into a few teens that when you ask about a critique, they come unhinged. I just got tired of the whining immature drama.
I don't take requests, because it will end up like my book reviews, which I currently have 20+ books from different publishers looking for reviews, author interviews, redline edits, etc...
IK will keep an eye out on you bro, and if I see something...
Appreciate it. And I know that feeling. I've only given so few critiques because of how inappropriate and unbalanced the younger writers take my legitimately constructive criticism. It's like they're insulted that I didn't praise their work, kiss their ass and basically allow myself to be "blown away" by their pretentious new age hookah.
You sound like you have your plate full. Best of luck.